I was on a beautiful fifty mile run last week and I was looking forward to sharing that experience, along with all the other crazy things I have been up to since the start of the pandemic; however, I once again find my mind wondering away from all the fun and crazy running challenges I have been doing and can’t help but use my voice on the limited platform I have to speak on very real and serious subject, Racism. It is real, it has been here forever, and it makes me incredibly sad that a statement as simple as “Black Lives Matter”, is controversial.
In the dark hours of early morning I typically find that I can sink into the rhythm of the run, lose my mind to noncritical thoughts, just be in the moment. I couldn’t on this day. On top of a serious global pandemic, we were now in the midst of major protests over racism. All I could focus on going down that single track dark trail was how lucky was I to have been born white male, particularly in a place like Maine. What a privilege that every day of my life I can just go out at anytime on any public trail and do a run. What a privilege it is that in preparing for my runs all I have to think about is what I am packing, where am I going, and what time do I need to set the alarm. I have never once thought, is it safe for me to go? Can I park in this empty parking lot at 3 AM without the cops being called? Can I go on this run without being accused of some crime? I am so privileged that I don’t even know what thoughts I would or should have before heading out the door.
I kept trying to tell myself as a progressed into daylight to just focus on the moment, that if any person of color was out here they’d be able to enjoy this experience too. There was no one else around, anyone else would also have nothing to worry about. But once again my brain showed me just how privileged I am. To assume that that fear just “goes away”, because maybe a moment of safety is a fallacy. Then I realized that my rationalizing away from these thoughts and concerns is part of the problem. That even though I don’t see myself as racist and we are raising our family to see everyone as equals, that I am just as guilty at complacency as anyone else.
How many times have a scrolled past a “white privilege” meme from one of my online “friends” and just rolled my eyes? How many times have I remained silent at a racist joke? How many times have I not corrected someones racism and remained silent, just to avoid confrontation? The answer to all those questions is the same, too many damn times. My rationale was always the same, my opinion won’t change anyone’s way of thinking, so why bother? That answer occurred to me as well while on this run, because racism isn’t a thing to have an “opinion” on. There is no opinion, it is wrong plain and simple. To not speak out against those moments of covert racism is just a bad to the bigger picture as looking the other way during blatant racism.
The time for silence by everyone needs to end. Everyone needs to do their part, talk about racism, educate ourselves and those around us by reading history and seeing how racism is woven directly into the fabric of our society. We need to reach a critical mass way of thinking in order to see the changes that are necessary.
I now have learned that Neo-Nazis and KKK members have a long standing history in Maine. This I did not know. This education was supplemented by a friend’s Facebook post about a group of Neo-Nazi’s posting their stickers around Portland and the need for people to seek them out for removal. I had always associated these groups with more southern state issues. It never occurred to me prior to reading some articles on Black history in Maine that the reason that we are the #2 whitest state in America (right behind Vermont), is not because people of color didn’t move here, but because we physically eradicated them!
I also received different perspectives on the riots and looting that are occurring along with the protests. I was complicit in saying things like “the protests are important, but the looting needs to stop”, “yes, protest, but they should do so peacefully”. I have been educated and have come to believe that the problem with the line of thinking is that it doesn’t take into account the “whys”. Why are people so enraged that they feel the only solution is violence or property destruction? Why does anyone feel the need to loot a business during a riot, because they see that as their only opportunity to get things that they want? We need to look at the “why’s”, but instead focus on the “shouldn’t haves”.
Everyone has a role to play in this battle, and the first steps is to no longer remain silent. I know I will do my best to no longer do so. That I will challenge my family, friends and colleagues and have those tough conversations. I challenge everyone who reads this blog to learn something new about racism in America and share that information with those around you. It is time we all stand up as one, and be one voice towards change. To have empathy for those around us, and no longer remain silent. Every single person deserves the privilege and opportunity to lace up their shoes at 3 AM and hit a park, trail or road and watch a sunrise from a high ridge with no more worry then getting mulled by a wild animal on their minds.
Running with Love 