Expectations

One of my close non-running friends yesterday said, “I just feel you are made to run 100’s; you’re going to do so amazing at Riverlands” . To this friend just finishing a 100 is amazing, which it is of course. But little does this friend realize the expectations that puts in my brain and that I already have plenty of other running friends who with the absolute best intentions “are excited to see what I can do”. I do the same thing to other runners, “you’re going to do awesome”, “you’ll crush it”, “if you have a good day you could do really well”. We all say these things to support and encourage one another, but are they truly all that helpful? Until you as an individual believe it yourself then it just potentially sets us up for false expectations. There are two possible outcomes for those expectations, you either hold back too much in a race because you don’t believe what those around you have been saying, or you push too hard because you believed those around you. In reality you failed to do what you should’ve done, run your own race. Be in the moment, on that day, at that time.

Yesterday, during my last long training run before a 3 week taper starts for Riverlands 100, I failed to do that. The goal was simple enough run the first 16 miles like I will start the 100 and then step up the effort to 50k pace for the last 16 miles. I did well for the first half, but I had expectations for how I would perform the last 16 miles and that blew up in my face. I pushed too hard, I stopped to wait for a training partner, I let my nutrition fall off, and I didn’t adjust my pace to the wet conditions. I got stuck in what I thought I should be doing and not what I really should have been doing in that moment. I have been caught in this trap many times before, and I know that the path it leads down is one of negativity and disappointment. In the particular case of running a hundred it becomes extra important to not go down this path. The road to success is to be in the moment, manage my expectations before they start to manage me.

I know that one of the best races that comes to mind where I did this successfully was my first trail 50 mile race. I had been upset the week before during a road marathon where things didn’t unfold the way I expected them too (those pesky expectations again) and I signed up for a 50 miler for the next weekend, because I knew I had more to give. I didn’t care how I did in the 50. I hadn’t trained for it and I had never run over a 50k at the time. I had zero expectations going in. I absolutely lived in the moment, doing what my body wanted to do in the time on that given day. I was in tune with myself and it lead to my walking away feeling great. I finished, I finished strong. Did I set the best time ever for a 50? nope. Did I finish on the podium? nope, neither overall or in my age group. I remember my response when people asked me what I thought of the 50 and I said “for me it felt easier then a marathon” . It really did at the time and even now. I didn’t struggle or fight for a certain pace that I needed to be at to reach an arbitrary expectation of time that I have set myself up for. I lived in the moment and it was glorious.

That is exactly how I need to be at Riverlands. I was falling into the trap again during my planning of the race. I did the math, if I wanted to finish in under 24 hours I need to run X pace, but if I want Y time at aid stations, and I skip this aid station, and do this here and that there then my final pace to reach 24 hours is XYZ. It was discussions with my crew/partner in crime from the 100 mile wilderness, a discussion with my coach on Friday and the challenges from my run yesterday that lead me out of this way of thinking. They all said the same thing, one that Brian for 100 MW said all the time, “Patience is the key and the race doesn’t start until mile 70”.

I didn’t exactly know what “be patient” meant, but coach Matt squared me away on that. Run the first 70-75 miles as effortlessly as I can, that doesn’t mean don’t run just don’t push. Walk up that steep section of the trail, take it easier on that down where you want to sprint. Don’t tear down your muscles and don’t worry about heart rate, pace, or place. Focus on managing your hydration, and nutrition. Don’t sit around too long at aid stations, but say hi, thank volunteers, run with joy. A smile on your face, in the moment and you will run with less effort. Even if that is a 14 minute mile or a 10 min mile, don’t worry. If I can manage those first 75 miles in that zone, then I will have the stuff left in the tank to finish strong. I will be ending the race in a place of positivity vs. one of struggle and negativity, which can make all the difference in the world. I truly would rather walk away from a race feeling like I did at the end of my first 50 miler at whatever time then having reached some expectation but in pain and hobbling away.

My goal is now to follow that sage advice from those with the knowledge and experience. After all I have never raced a 100 before. I have no real business setting myself up for any expectations. Finishing the 100 mile wilderness is a great accomplishment, but it is a vastly difference experience and one that cannot truly be compared to a race like Riverlands. I will do my best to accept those who pass me on well wishes, even if they are in the form of expectations, and I will do my best to adjust my own statements to other runners to not set up expectations for them. I will wish for them to “race in the moment on your own terms, in your own way” because that is what I will be doing.